Teams and people creating value together are in healthy creative forms of conflict much of the time, but what if they get stuck and conflict turns sour?
I am glad to share with you the Conflict Progress Coaching approach I developed over a few years, which draws from the fields of mediation, relationship counselling, and professional coaching (including Gestalt coaching). Following is the conversational approach that addresses several key aspects of conflict navigation.
Why people often get stuck in conflict
- When people are emotional it can often be hard to gain new perspectives.
- When people feel misunderstood it can often be hard to move beyond that.
- When people only see their way versus the other’s way, it can often be hard to create something together.
Without any of the above addressed, it can often be hard to figure out how to make progress together.
Stage: Opening and clearing
1. Coach welcomes A & B to conversation, thanks for joining
2. Coach prompts A & B (alternating) for what emotion they feel in just one word, proceed once emotions soften
Stage: Building understanding
3. Person A starts as 'Presenter', B as 'Creator'. Presenter (A) shares their perspective/request/proposal.
4. Creator (B) describes their understanding of perspective/request/proposal in their words until Presenter (A) confirms they feel understood.
5. A & B switch Presenter and Creator. Presenter (B) shares their perspective/request/proposal.
6. Creator (A) describes their understanding of perspective/request/proposal in their words until Presenter (B) confirms they feel understood.
Stage: Building connection
7. Creator (A) shares something that they appreciate about Presenter's (B) perspective/request/proposal.
8. A & B switch Presenter and Creator. Creator (B) shares something that they appreciate about Presenter's (A) perspective/request/proposal.
Stage: Opening space for progress
9. Coach asks both: "What's next for the two of you?"
10. A & B share thoughts of how to progress.
11. Coach thanks both for their creativity and empathy.
Learn how it works
If you're joining the Global Scrum Gathering 2019 in Vienna I cordially invite you to join the live mentor-coaching session in this approach on Monday 28 October 2019 at 11AM in the Environmental Safety track.
I'll host a session there where you can get to practice this approach in groups of 3; everyone gets a chance to be the coach, and a conflict progress partner.
Learn how to coach people through this simulated conversation. You’ll also experience what it is like to be coached through this. The aim of the simulation is to give you the practice and approach needed to prepare you for serving people in your environments as, and when, needed.